Harry Was Right, One Really is the Loneliest Number

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."
- Buddha


"Don't surround yourself with yourself/Move on back two squares"
- Yes (Jon Anderson), 'I've Seen All Good People'


I have a feeling this will be a shorter one today.

Today's blog was a tough one from the get-go. A tough one to conceptualize, a tough one to start, and I'm sure a tough one to stay focused on, partially because I am writing this at my office job and can't have any music playing. I'm currently in the thick of producing two shows, one that opens tomorrow and one that opens the following week, and this process has been a bit stressful, and I blame no one but myself. Procrastination hit me hard with these two shows and we started behind the 8-ball on all of it. Everything from casting to starting rehearsals and the marketing of the shows, it all has been incorporated too late into the process there's really no one to blame here but myself. And for a while I was really down on myself and sat on my couch in a paralyzing pout.

But then I remembered some advice I got from my dad and a band from the 70s and 80s: Don't surround yourself with yourself.

You are allowed to ask for help. And, in actuality, I believe one is a better leader and more responsible when he/she realizes that help is needed and asks for it.

The more you wallow and sulk and mope (which I could give masterclasses on), the more you get trapped in the hold of You, and when you are feeling that way that's an unbreakable hold.

Instead, take a step back, or two. Examine the situation. It doesn't matter whether it's producing a show, moving to a new home or apartment, planning a vacation, if you're fighting with a friend of loved one, etc etc etc, if you are feeling overwhelmed or out of your element, just reset yourself. Take a step and see what is actually going on and then ask for help. It doesn't matter if it's a lot of help or a little. It doesn't matter if it's hiring a friend to design three posters for you in 48 hours or just asking someone to get some coffee with you so you can vent and let it all out, ask for it. What's the worst that could happen? They say no and you move on to the next friend.

And don't limit yourself to just one friend or one outlet of relief. Do whatever you need to do to get a firm, controlled grip on the situation and back in control with a level head. Like Buddha said 'the life of the candle will not be shortened.' Your life will not be damaged or weakened the more you ask for help and take care of yourself. But like a single candle in a room lighting multiple, the room gets brighter, and so does your life by welcoming more charity and help into it. But the flame does not dwindle. It acts as a role model for the other candles to present themselves by.

So next time you are cuddled up on your couch, cradling Ben and Jerry under one arm, channel surfing with no intended destination, take a step back. See where you are and see what you need done and I guarantee not only is there someone out there that can help you, but would be nothing but happy to help you.

Spread your flame, let someone spread their flame to you, light up the room brighter than it was before, and know that other people are (sometimes) better company than you.

Ramble on
Stish