The title actually has nothing to do with the rest of the ramble's message...kind of.
Something very awesome happened today in my yoga class that I think begs to be shared. But let me go backwards. I have been working in restaurants on and off for nearly ten years now. I have done everything except get behind the line. I've bussed, ran, served, and tended bar. I've even hosted for a brief time. Though the restaurant industry has been very good to me and I've become rather good at it, ten years is a lot longer than the summer job it started out being. It was about a week ago that I decided to leave the restaurant industry and find financial stability in a field that is closer to my interests and provides equal, if not more, flexibility. Currently, I'm working between 5-6 days a week, amassing 60+ hours a week. I'm constantly tired, in pain, and unproductive with my writing. I find myself either skipping auditions or not committing to them because of my schedule.
That's not why I am in New York.
I am in New York to pursue my career and work on the side, not work and pursue my career on the side.
I was watching TV the other day and a personal favorite came on: The Karate Kid. The original. The one with the wickedly adorable Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita (not that Jackie Chan isn't cute and all). There is a scene when Daniel is celebrating his birthday with Mr. Miyagi and Mr. Miyagi talks about life having a balance. That life and all aspects of it must have a balance, a harmony, and then everything will be better. This is what got me thinking. My life was 85% work 15% career (auditions, writing, etc.). That is not balance. I was sacrificing my career for work. This is not balance. I knew there were ways out there to work, make money, and keep my career in the foreground. That is balance. This is what I decided I wanted.
My last day at my current job, the bar, will be not this Saturday but the following, and I have to be honest: I've never felt more at ease. This is not to disrespect the bar I am at. I've had a great time in the 2 months I've been there, which is how long they've been open. I more respect for my current GM than I have for anyone I've ever worked for and he has a great restaurant that will only take Astoria by storm, but I decided it is a ride that I didn't want to be on. But this feeling of ease has already paid off. Good things have been happening at an alarming rate for me and I honestly believe it is because I am starting to take care of myself and bring balance back to my life. To quote my first blog, I am practicing Ahimsa, the practice of doing no harm. I am starting to take care of the inside of me.
So at class today, something very awesome happened. I started sweating, but not my normal sweat load. It was like I was breaking some Amazonian fever. I was starting to sweat in the opening meditation. There were times I had to take a knee because I was getting over heated and felt I was going to pass out. And I was so happy for it.
Why?
Because it was all the stress and toxins and negative feelings I've had over the past who knows how long from overwork and under-pursuit. I was releasing myself (figuratively) of all the imbalance I've had in my life and just plugged through. It was truly an amazing experience.
So if something doesn't feel right in your life, chances are something truly isn't right. When a car's alignment isn't right, it veers to the left or right. It's not balanced. It doesn't have a straight path. When a tightrope walker holding one of those long balancing rods has more rod on one side than the other, the walker is going to tip over to the overloaded side. I wasn't tipping over, I was falling constantly. Not any more.
So listen to your life and acknowledge your heart. Find the balance because it is always there. My Dad always told me to be right with myself because no matter if you get married and however long that lasts, there is always one person that you wake up with everyday: You. You have to be right with yourself and do what makes you happy and the best You before you can be happy anywhere else.
To thine ownself be true (my personal mantra)
And to close it out, a little quote from Mr. Miyagi: "Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?
Abide and ramble on
Stish
Soundtrack: 'Frozen Man' by James Taylor, 'I'm Old Fashioned' by Judy Garland, 'Walking in Memphis' by Marc Cohn
The soundtrack are the songs that played while I was writing this ramble
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